Dear Starbucks,
I promise to never stray from your virtuous path again. My foolish self opted for the local campus coffee shop and got seriously screwed with my iced non-fat latte. It was disgusting! I do not know if it was too much milk or bad milk or bad espresso, but it was terrible. I forcefully drank a third of it only because I had paid $3.15 for a "large" [which is the size of your grande] when I could've very well had a nice cold delicious VENTI latte from you. Why oh why have I not learned my lesson. Remember the time I came crying back after going to Peet's Coffee only because I was at Noah's. I could have walked across the street to mecca, but no.....my lazy ass opted for the closer place. Peet's with their fancy computer screens displaying every order and their pretty little tea & coffee pots. I waited 20 minutes for my luke-warm latte as I watched the fancy business type of South Pas get their drinks in a timely fashion. I was blinded by the colorful screens and shiny china.
Forgive me oh wise one, I promise to never stray [unless I'm in Italy again where the coffee & espresso drinks will never compare....sorry but it's true]. I will glady pay all $0.10 increases in price in the future. I guess my mom was right, I should listen to Jesus....
I promise to never stray from your virtuous path again. My foolish self opted for the local campus coffee shop and got seriously screwed with my iced non-fat latte. It was disgusting! I do not know if it was too much milk or bad milk or bad espresso, but it was terrible. I forcefully drank a third of it only because I had paid $3.15 for a "large" [which is the size of your grande] when I could've very well had a nice cold delicious VENTI latte from you. Why oh why have I not learned my lesson. Remember the time I came crying back after going to Peet's Coffee only because I was at Noah's. I could have walked across the street to mecca, but no.....my lazy ass opted for the closer place. Peet's with their fancy computer screens displaying every order and their pretty little tea & coffee pots. I waited 20 minutes for my luke-warm latte as I watched the fancy business type of South Pas get their drinks in a timely fashion. I was blinded by the colorful screens and shiny china.
Forgive me oh wise one, I promise to never stray [unless I'm in Italy again where the coffee & espresso drinks will never compare....sorry but it's true]. I will glady pay all $0.10 increases in price in the future. I guess my mom was right, I should listen to Jesus....
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5 Comments:
That's what happens when you just say no.
are you questioning J.C.?? how dare you! now i KNOW for sure you're heading to purgatory! see you there GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Boycott starbucks, boycott starbucks, boycott starbucks! John 3:19 said that the prophets should boycott anything that arises in every corner of our lifes. Literally. It's all about coffee bean. Alright, I'm just playing. Don't get mad. Starbucks is the BEST.
for a second there i thought your coworker/cuz had posted that comment above mines, yes, mines. guess not. good, cause i was gonna walk over to his desk and punch him. bye.
Hi Cute Ones,
Wow. I know there are a lot of people out there who feel they need that coffee... It's a must-have, for some! But since you have the "Think Pink" sign posted out here on your blog, you ought'a know something: caffeine causes huge lumps in people's faces, breasts, ovaries and gonads. Caffeine blows-out the adrenaline glands in a person's lower back, on the left side, just under the heart. Caffeine generates panic-attacks! And when one's head is all blown-out and aching and on fire, you would think more caffeine is the answer, right? WRONG. That's your brain, the following day, saying: "I hate you for feeding me caffeine."
Imagine this going on for about, say every day for twenty-years or so - you see those people limping around on canes out there? Women having heart-attacks before they hit the age of 40? Men dying of prostrate? Cancer eating into women's breasts and brains?
How many times have your doctors asked if you smoke? Has a doctor ever asked you about your relationship with caffeine? I doubt it.
You see, cancer is big business. Coffee and cancer! Whoopee! For places like Starbuck's and your local hospital, it's called job security.
May the Truth Set You Free!
-OM
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